5 love languages

Have you heard of them? If not, now is the time. Knowing these languages can completely change your life. It doesn’t only help your relationship with your partner, but also with your family, friends or even colleagues.

So, what are they exactly?

1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Gifts
4. Physical Touch
5. Acts of Service

These five languages describe how we perceive love, and also how we express it. It can happen in a relationship that we just don’t feel our partner truly loves us. Most of the time it is not actually true. It’s just that our loved one perceives love in a different way than us. If you take the love language test and get to know your own love language and your partner’s, your relationship can become much smoother.

Some people appreciate it most when they receive gifts. Some value it most when you spend good quality time together. Other people love it when you do things for them, and some people need physical touch to feel loved. Others need to hear your appreciation or admiration out loud, in words.

Imagine you have been in a relationship with your partner for years. You do things for them that you perceive as proofs of love. For instance, you keep doing the grocery shopping because you think that’s what the other person would appreciate. Or you keep planning romantic moments because that’s how you express feelings towards your partner. Or from time to time you come home with small gifts because you want your partner to know that you thought about them. But they may not always perceive this as proofs of love. The reason is that whatever you may see as a genuine love gesture, your partner may not. Everyone speaks a different love language. You just need to find out which one matters most to your loved one. Through many years of research and hard work, Dr. Gary Chapman discovered that even marriages that seemed to be one step from divorce could find their way back to a loving relationship. Yes, sometimes it can be hard to fill your partner’s “love tank”, but if you truly love them, you simply do it. But of course, keep a healthy balance: you don’t have to use your loved one’s love language every day. And if it’s something you are not used to, you can get a little help from reminders. That is completely fine.

I advise reading the book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. He has published three editions in total, for singles and for parents, too. If you are not sure which love language is yours, there is a test available online that can reveal it for you.

You can take the free love language quiz on the 5 Love Languages website.

In my opinion, they are such an eye-opener and will change the way you treat and talk to your loved ones. And trust me, adjusting your habits or opening your mind to see the love from the other person’s perspective can truly change any of your relationships.